Total Meltdown

Text conversation while at said party with wife...pretty much sums up the night.

So I got fucked up this past weekend. Like seriously, 3 sheets to the wind, not quite blacked out, but close enough, fucked up. I drank too much, smoked too much, and passed out before 2am. I try my damnedest not to do that. I mean, I'm almost 35, I'm way too old to burn the candle at both ends, but whatever. Sometimes you have to blow off some steam.It was an 80's themed birthday party for some lesbian friends ours, and honestly, they are fun fucking people! I don't mean cause they're gay or whatever, I mean, for a bunch of 40 year olds, well they still go off, and have some fun! At some point I remember telling some girl she looked like Lois from family guy, (this was totally meant as a compliment, though I'm not sure she took it that way) and there was this young couple there fighting that I'm pretty sure I told to just break the fuck up already. Life's too fucking short to be 19 and having fights with your girlfriend. The dude seemed over this girl anyway, and it just seems like such a waste. I've been that dude, fighting with a girl, when I'm 19, over fucking nothing. Cause you know what? In like a year or so it's not going to make any difference since chances are you're going to be broken up, and again, life's too short for that shit. 

I think I slurred something like,"dude, most girls at that age are just going to make you miserable anyway, why wait around until it get's worse? Just break up already!!"

                            It's getting to that point in the late fall, early winter, here in my area of Missouri where it rains, or it's cold. Not much more skating to get in. Supposed to be nice on Thanksgiving day, hopefully between stuffing my self and working, (In the radio business there are no holidays off!) I can get out and skate a little. Really over the cold, shitty weather. It didn't bother me so much as a kid, but my old rotten bones really can't take anything under 40 degrees anymore. When I was younger we had an indoor skatepark, and then when it closed my friend Mike and I had these two little quarter pipes in his garage that we'd skate in the winter. I miss that shit, I need a garage, or basement, or something to at least roll around a little when there's snow and ice covering everything and it's freezing cold out!

This picture looks like how winter feels, cold, white, and dead. Notice that round hump thing in the background? If you don't know that's what we call a chat dump. Basically it's what's left over after they mine lead out from underground. Which is why you don't want to drink the water, eat the fish, or consume anything grown from the ground in this place.

I leave you with this. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not.If you haven't, well, the title kind of refers to you....

ANTI HERO FUCKTARDS from Tobin Yelland on Vimeo.

4am? Fuck Yeah

I try not to post on here unless I feel like it, cause I'm pretty sure my post would be worse than they normally are. Plus I've been busy squeezing every last session in before the fucking winter gets here. Well, that, and watching it rain, the wind blow ridiculously hard, and working on my gear for an 80's themed birthday party that's going to be coming up this weekend. It's going to be dagger time for me. I know that this has been a costume for 8 million other dudes before me, but I've never actually done it, so I don't really fucking care. Besides I've had a blast hooking up my jean jacket with a dagger and flair, finding an old pair of levis, and god knows I've got plenty of old school vans to rock. Should be fun. I'm trying to get the wife to go as velvet, but we'll see how that goes. I told her I could always just call up Sherilyn Fenn as I'm sure she's not too busy, and goddamn was she fucking hot in that movie. When I saw Thrashin I was maybe 11 or so, and had just started skating. This was my ideal girlfriend at the time.

 Honestly, not much has changed. I'm into the dark haired ladies, and for some reason, I prefer the dirty looking ones. The ones who's eyes just kind of say, "I want cock!" My wife says I have some weird white trash fetish, honestly I don't know how weird it is considering I grew up in the sticks of the midwest. Plus I always kind of had this theory that white trash chicks are usually way more loyal than other broads, plus they'll have your back in a fight.
Here's my cut off jean jacket so far. It's got some rad flair on the front, including a maltese cross, a home made DK patch, and some other assorted pins and what not. I'll take plenty of photos at the party. but here's a preview of the Dagger.

The DFL, if you don't know, is "Daggers for Life" fool. I still have to score a dangly sword earring somewhere before Saturday, but it's coming together well. I don't wear earrings anymore, I haven't in years, but my holes are still open, as I sometimes put my wife's more silly earrings in for a laugh, normally after drinking heavily. I would have thought they would have closed up by now, but nope. Both lobes are still open, and it's been at least 8 years since I've had anything in them. I will admit, while I didn't have plugs or anything in them, there was a period of my life where I did piercing at a friends tattoo shop and had some rather large gauged hoops in them. I hated piercing though. It was all tongues and belly buttons all fucking day. And they both suck to do, and if you're thinking "yeah but what about all the girls nips you got to pierce, or sweet VJ's?" Well let me tell you, most of the nipples I did were dudes, and the chicks that came in to get those other areas done were not the kind of girls you would be hoping for. Trust me, maybe in some college town or near some strip clubs you might get to push surgical steel through some hottie's pussy, but around here it was usually skanky ass jugalo type bitches that hadn't showered in days and weighed...well, I don't want to make fun of people's weight, but lets just say they were less than desirable.
   On the skate front, I did see this up today. No matter what, and never mind the fact that I will never, have never, and could never come close to skating like this man, there are few others who make me want to break myself off by watching them skate like he does. ALL HAIL CARDIEL!
http://www.skatevideosonline.net/video/1374/wwjcd/john-cardiel-retrospective/
On a side note, when I woke up this morning, after working on my Dagger costume until 4am, I found this note stuck to the back of my jean jacket.(Colors?)

 

 

My wife is a funny broad.

FUCK YOU WIND

Not much to say today. Got up, had a pot of coffee, went outside where it's cold as shit and windy. Cutting through hoody windy. No skate today, basically sat here looking at skate shit all day, waiting to go into the studio tonight to try and finish up some drums and guitar for my band's EP. Hopefully get all my guitar work done tonight!! Then gotta strain my shitty voice and attempt to sing. Joy, Joy. Cleaned my house, did some dishes, and listened to Pinkerton, we're planning on using it as a reference for the drums on the EP. The drums sound badass on that album. Everything sounds badass on that album though, haven't listened to it in years, was singing "Pink Triangle" when my wife came in at the top of my lungs washing dishes. She scared the shit out of me. Did see this today, http://focusskatemag.com/2011/11/checkin-in-with-dan-drehobl/ which is cool. Drehobl is the man, fun to watch skate, and keeps the hope alive that my old ass can skate decently, on occasion, and in my head have that much style on tranny. I've been wanting to build a mini-ramp in the backyard for years now, and we finally have a privacy fence up. So for Christmas, and my birthday, (which is four days after Christmas, which means no one ever remembers your birthday, and that no one wants to go out cause they're all waiting to go out on New Years!!!) I'm asking for gift cards to Lowes. I used to just steal wood to build ramps, but now that I'm older and can actually go to jail for that shit, well I guess I'll go about it all legal and whatnot, and just purchase the wood. I'm thinking 4' with a 5' extension and 16' wide to start. We had a ramp behind my friend Mike's dad's t-shirt shop when I was 18. Thing was so much fun. It had those same dimensions. All built with stolen wood. It was right across from a police station too, I always wondered what the cops were thinking when we pulled up at 2am and started chucking 2x4's over the fence behind the store. There were a couple outside while we were unloading. They just stood there watching. Good times.

Watch the Robot take your job...

Was planning on going skating today...that didn't happen, mainly because it looked like this outside.

Then it proceeded to rain like a mother-fucker, and still has not let up. It's supposed to be sunny tomorrow...and fucking 45 degrees. What the hell? It was close to 70 today, and shitty, but it's going to be sunny and cold tomorrow?? What the fuck kind of backwards ass weather is that? To top that off, I'm now at my job, and tonight my job is to basically sit and watch the computer to make sure the automation works. Basically, for the last few years, when we run sporting events, someone must be here to run local commercials, station ID's and actually twist buttons and do things. Now they are moving to automation, which is fine, most things here at the station, as at most stations, are now automated. This is why radio jobs are hard to come by. No more real producers, engineers, etc, everything is pre-recorded and automated nowadays. The fucked up thing is a large part of the hours I work are these sporting events. So basically I'm sitting here, making sure that a computer is doing my job properly so that I no longer have a job. Pretty fucking cool, huh?

IN A WORLD WHERE.....

           You know that guy, yeah, the one that does all the cheesy movie voice-overs? They usually start, "In a world..." I wish I was that guy. I bet he makes a ton of money with that voice. My voice isn't great, but it's not bad. Thus the gig on the radio. I used to work at this call center, I got told quite often that I had a nice voice and that I should do voice over work. I even got a job offer once, until I told the lady that I was in Missouri. She was all, "uhh, Missouri? Why the fuck would you want to live there?" I honestly still don't have a good answer for that question. I mean, it's beautiful and all that. I'm only an hour away from St. Louis, which isn't my favorite city or anything, but it's got some pretty cool shit to do. I'm also within 30 minutes of tons of clean streams, hiking trails, National Forests, lakes, the Mississippi river, and it's cheap as fuck to live here. On the other hand the cultural events are lacking. We've got Country Days, (which is every bit as retarded as it sounds.) meth labs, rednecks, big trucks, republicans out the yin-yang, Christians, cowboys, fake cowboys, racists, and other assorted white trash. I know, lots of places have all those things, but in the town I grew up in this one asshole cop had a fucking confederate flag license plate on his truck. I know, maybe that's pretty commonplace in small town America, but this guy was a real prick, to the extant that he is no longer a cop due to harassing so many people. That's a whole other story. 
             Not much going on tonight. Sat at home, watched Scarface(wife had never seen it! How fucked is that? Sometimes I can't believe I married this broad...) and ate some sherbert. Like a normal old man. Every day I'm creeping closer to my 35th birthday. When I was 18 or so I had all these goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 35. I've accomplished one. I guess that's better than none, but really, 1 out of 20 sucks pretty bad. That's a F if it was a test. I think even in one of those liberal pass/fail schools it'd be a fail. I've come to terms with that shit, at some point I just stopped caring, or having any sort of ambition at all, if I ever really had any to begin with. That's all I got, well that, and these shitty photos. They look terrible, but it was from a late night out in St. Louis not long ago. I kind of like the way they look.Plus a few of some spots I've been hiking in the last few weeks.

When I said late night, I fucking meant it, this was after being out at a bar in St. Louis until 1an, then to a 3am bar, then to East St. Louis until 6am, then to this dinner to eat. It was about 6:30am when I took these.

See, there's some pretty cool shit here if you don't mind hiking like 12 miles. Plus this stuffs only an hour away from St. Louis. Shit, it almost makes it ok to have to put up with all the other bullshit.

SKATE WHILE YOU CAN

Thank the skate gods, the weathers holding out, it was just about perfect skating today. I however was sucking ass, couldn't even get a decent kickflip today, balance felt all off. Oh well, had fun, basically did manuals in a parking lot for an hour. Just glad the winter isn't hitting yet, the weather in Missouri can be strange. We're far enough north that you can have a foot of snow, yet far enough south where it can be 70 degrees in January. The ice storms suck worse than anything though. Or thunder-snow, that's always fun too. Anyway, it's time for some dinner, and I've got some cheap wine chilling in the fridge. Just wanted to throw this up, been digging on this for quite some time. One thing I miss about being in a bigger city is the flatness, and skating through downtown. Traffic skateboards, (who I've totally been sleeping on until I saw their thing on the berrics, and yes, I occasionally check out the berrics, suck it!) are keeping it in the streets. Fucking Ricky Oyola is the man. This is what street skating is to me, skating through the fucking gnarly ass streets of some city, trying not to get clipped by a car, dodging crack heads, and making spots out of every crack, pothole, manhole cover, and curb cut. 

I know everyone thinks the berrics sucks, but their trajectory is usually pretty cool. This makes me want to go throw my body in front of traffic! Definitely want to support these guys, east coast style for miles, and one of the OG love parkers. 

I like vox's by the way, I know people hate on them, and I skate vans too, but vox makes a damn comfy shoe.

Happy Halloween

So it's the day after Halloween, didn't do much last night. Went to my parent's house, had a nice dinner, and hung out with them and my sister, bro-in-law, and nephew. It's all good. Need a good night out though, and now I'm off work for a few days, will be out skating later, most likely by myself, and that's ok too. I like skating by my lonesome. It's not like I'm out killing it or anything. It's just good fun, probably go to my manual pad spot. No one is ever there, it's a closed down business, and I like it that way. It's so fall out, the weather is great, except for the wind. But that's ok too. Here's some fall type artsy photos from around my house. It's all I got today.

The iphone 4s freaking rules too. If anyone didn't know that already. Can't believe this is my first iphone. I think my life is forever changed.